Insite Into Unruliness
Wow. I just had an instructive experience that gave me some real insite into something I've never seen before. I'm starting to think that what passes for disorganization, forgetfulness, or simply being a person who never seems to be able to keep track of his life may just have an attitude of rebellion at its roots.
The state of Oklahoma requires schools to test it's students every year with what are called "End of Instruction" tests. The tests are a major pain in the rear, requiring us to completely revamp our schedules and plan out big blocks of time for testing to occur with certain kids while the other kids who are not being tested go to class in a "business-as-normal" fashion (yeah, right). But I'm not writing with regard to those tests. What I AM writing about is something I saw DURING those tests.
I was assigned to administer a writing exam. The kids were informed well in advance of changes to their schedules, and they should have known where they were supposed to be, and when. We only have certain amounts of time for this test, and the instructions from the state are so rigid that they practically tell you when to breath. So at any rate, there were a handful of kids who came in late...some VERY late. What I noticed was that these tended to be the same kids who didn't bring any pencils (to a writing test...go figure). Strangely enough, they were also the kids who couldn't seem to obey simple rules...such as no eating or drinking during the exam, or no talking. One of the girls waited till AFTER THE STUPID TEST STARTED to say she needed a tissue...and on and on it goes. I saw a definite co-relation between not being able to get it together to take a simple test without major problems and an unruly spirit. There seems to be a "nobody's going to tell me what to do" attitude behind a lot of this apparent failure to manage one's life...and it made me stop and think about myself.
I don't consider myself an overtly aggressive, openly rebellious person...but I need not kid myself. Due to some factors in my up-bringing, I know good and well that I have it in me as part of my carnal nature to covertly sabotage the plans of people that I find overbearing or "bossy". I haven't always recognized it in myself, but I can see that tendancy to passively push back against restrictions or constraints....things like always expecting there to be an exception to the rules, always having some reason why things can't just go as planned...that sort of thing.
Well, now I'm looking at that in relationship to my commitments...and it has made me really stop and think. Could it be that there is more to failure to keep commitments and failure to do what one has said he'd do that what meets the eye? Is it possible what underlies a lot of this "I just didn't get to it" or "I got too busy" is a resentment against rules, guidelines, standards...or ANY constraints? I'm really starting to question this. I'll be talking to my accountability partner about this and trying to assess it further, but I think...at least for me...I'm on to something here.
Troy
The state of Oklahoma requires schools to test it's students every year with what are called "End of Instruction" tests. The tests are a major pain in the rear, requiring us to completely revamp our schedules and plan out big blocks of time for testing to occur with certain kids while the other kids who are not being tested go to class in a "business-as-normal" fashion (yeah, right). But I'm not writing with regard to those tests. What I AM writing about is something I saw DURING those tests.
I was assigned to administer a writing exam. The kids were informed well in advance of changes to their schedules, and they should have known where they were supposed to be, and when. We only have certain amounts of time for this test, and the instructions from the state are so rigid that they practically tell you when to breath. So at any rate, there were a handful of kids who came in late...some VERY late. What I noticed was that these tended to be the same kids who didn't bring any pencils (to a writing test...go figure). Strangely enough, they were also the kids who couldn't seem to obey simple rules...such as no eating or drinking during the exam, or no talking. One of the girls waited till AFTER THE STUPID TEST STARTED to say she needed a tissue...and on and on it goes. I saw a definite co-relation between not being able to get it together to take a simple test without major problems and an unruly spirit. There seems to be a "nobody's going to tell me what to do" attitude behind a lot of this apparent failure to manage one's life...and it made me stop and think about myself.
I don't consider myself an overtly aggressive, openly rebellious person...but I need not kid myself. Due to some factors in my up-bringing, I know good and well that I have it in me as part of my carnal nature to covertly sabotage the plans of people that I find overbearing or "bossy". I haven't always recognized it in myself, but I can see that tendancy to passively push back against restrictions or constraints....things like always expecting there to be an exception to the rules, always having some reason why things can't just go as planned...that sort of thing.
Well, now I'm looking at that in relationship to my commitments...and it has made me really stop and think. Could it be that there is more to failure to keep commitments and failure to do what one has said he'd do that what meets the eye? Is it possible what underlies a lot of this "I just didn't get to it" or "I got too busy" is a resentment against rules, guidelines, standards...or ANY constraints? I'm really starting to question this. I'll be talking to my accountability partner about this and trying to assess it further, but I think...at least for me...I'm on to something here.
Troy
posted by Polar Bear T @ 8:11 PM
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