PolarBearT

First Spanish Service...Nice "Birthday" Present!

2005-10-17T10:44:00.000-05:00

NOTE: I wrote this back in October...not sure why it didn't post:

Wow, it really happened. Yesterday, we had our first Spanish service at my church, Landmark Tabernacle in Pauls Valley, Oklahoma. I am elated. I got to preach and teach the entire plan of salvation to a woman who has come to church a few times before...but this time, in her own language! This is the life, y'all...there's nothing like working with souls. I have interpreted services into Spanish many, many times...it's something I did for years. But actually setting aside time to have services in Spanish--that's a new ball game...and a wonderful "birthday present", of sorts, also. today is the twenty-ninth anniversary of the night I went down in the waters of baptism in the precious name of Jesus! On October 17, 1976, a thirteen-year old boy from a nominally Presbyterian background became an Apostolic Pentecostal. I couldn't even pronounce the name of our religion yet! I can't tell you how thankful I am for the way God has kept me all these years. I'm feeling good and I'm counting my blessings, so forgive me if I seem to ramble--but this is the sweetest life. And in Jesus, the best is always yet to come!
In Love With Jesus,
Troy Fullerton

Literature Deprivation

2005-10-08T11:01:00.000-05:00

Arrgghh! Poor me....woe is me! Life's circumstances at times provoke justifiable whining and self-pity. All week, I was anticipating the opportunity to read an essay from my AP on the subject of faithfulness at work. You know how it is when you go to the well and the well is dry...here I was, thirsty for words of wisdom and inspiration, eagerly anticipating a veritable FEAST of heightened understanding and enlightenment---only to find that the lights were never turned on! AYYYYY! What will I DO! I shall be reduced to reading cheap works of fiction by uninspiring, boring authors who have NOTHING to offer to humanity! What a weekend!

I'll get through it somehow,
Troy

This Week Was Not Greatly Improved

2005-10-04T22:05:00.000-05:00

Okay, party's over, I guess. Harrumph. My illustrious accountability partner (Steve), in his ever-tactful, brotherly way, indicated that if I don't get a handle on my late-night Internet excursions (the one's that keep me up way past normal bed time and cause me to crash and burn the next day in the area of responsibility)--some restrictions were coming down. And because I don't lie to my brother (or anybody else for that matter), I'm about to get some "iron bars" set---but that's good, I guess.
In terms of everything else...I'd have to rate myself as "so-so"...not the best...and I have to face reality...tired bodies do not good enhance the responsible handling of life. Actually, I'm embarrassed (appropriately, I suppose) to have to face this down. Still, though, I'm glad I will be dealing with it. I need to.
I love my life, my family, my God, my church, my friends...and so much that I'm blessed with. I shudder to think of the dire results that come from slothfulness, according to the Word of God...I don't want to lose the good things God has blessed me with. I'm in business for myself now, so it's more important than ever.

Troy

The Number 17

2005-10-04T21:54:00.000-05:00

I like the number 17. I don't know why. I used to like the number 7 best...guess because I thought God liked seven. So when and why the switch to 17? Dunno...but if I'm trying to wait and do something for "good measure", I'll like count to 17...or if that won't be enough, then I'll double it and do 34. I could be stirring something....and I'll think it's "about done", and give it another 17 swirls.
Silly? Perhaps...but I'm finding that consistency and predictability bring tranquility (whoa...that rhymed!). And even though this is a very small thing (and it is, I guess...some would even say it's too trifling to talk about)...I'm looking at it and thinking "why not"? Usually the way we are in one area of our life, we tend to be in others.
I'm some ways, I guess I still have vestiges of my "seven"-orientation at play. I'll often divide small things into seven steps, for example---and I still tend to think that a good list has fourteen things on it (double-seven). Okay, I'm weird...fair enough...but I rather like the way I'm gravitating over to 17. Call it a personal quirk, it's still a "touch-stone" of predictability.

Troy

Get Me To The Church On Time....PLEASE!

2005-06-21T22:27:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay, I know. I'm the head of the household and it's my responsibility. NOW...ever try to rush two females? Scratch that...two females with hair to brush and fix, outfits to find/iron...etc? The results are similar to attempting to bathe the average cat.
Here's the scoop. I am determined to get the family to church on time (meaning pre-service prayer) , at least 90% of the time (hey, a ninety is an "A" in school, right?)--but my wife works third shift and often has trouble sleeping, and it's hard to get the rest of the family going. Here's what I think my responsibility in all of this is:

1. Stress the importance of it in daily conversation for a while...get my wife and daughter thinking about this.
2. Ask for their suggestions, then IMPLEMENT whatever they plan.
3. Get everybody moving earlier (even though I don't know so long as they do to be ready) and gently remind.
4. Subtley check the night before to be sure that the things they need are, in fact, available (stockings, hair brush, clean outfits).
5. To pray and seek the Lord for answers and for His blessing on my efforts at the above.

I think our efforts to get there have, in the past, been sabotaged by both disorganization and sloppy time-use habits. We're much better organized now, and time use is getting to be one of my (our) fortés lately, or so it seems...so this should be a self-eliminating problem.

Troy

Summertime Goals

2005-06-21T22:16:00.000-05:00

The three greatest reasons for going into education are supposed to be love for the kids, enthusiasm about the subject matter, and desire to make a difference. Who's kidding whom? The three greatest reasons for going into edcuation are June, July, and August. As with anything, however, along with freedom comes responsibility. I must not, cannot, and refuse to waste this summer: too much is riding on the results of it.

My primary goals for this summer are these: to have the property in Wynnewood (both houses) fixed up and sold (or at least on sale), to move to the Quad City area if it's the Lord's will, to have my family's spiritual condition in a state of victory, and to have a teaching position for the fall. In addition to this, I want our organization and use of time, space, and belongings to be trucking along so we can set and meet other goals and be successful in our endeavors. Many of these things are well under way, and I'm pleased.

One of the smartest things I've done lately has been to honestly assess my time use and get my day divided according to my energy levels and responsibilities. Afterall, if you don't know where you're going, then how do you know what to do next? We've been seeking the Lord about whether or not to move, and I think I'm seeing my answer very clearly. We've got the yard very much under way at the Wynnewood property (mowing and such) and are just had a big trash bin set today to remove things from the house where the fire was, as well as other things...to get all the trash removed. I'm actively planning my time use according to my goals...it's been a little hard to get started, but I'm on track now.

Had Bible study tonight with the family...emphasizing daily prayer and Bible reading/study...I love the Lord...this is wonderful. Can't wait to see greater things.

Troy

Time Management

2005-05-23T22:28:00.000-05:00

In my assigned readings from Time Management from the Inside Out, I'm gaining some new insight about prioritization. I can essentially boil down what Part Two said by saying that the author thinks we should all determine what is important to us and what our big-picture goals in life are. Then we need to plan activities that will carry us in that direction. Basically, it's not enough to be an efficient planner of time...we have to know where we're going in order to get there. That reminded me of the good things that have come from this acccountability partnership. I am, indeed, moving in the direction I want to go in.
It has been my goal to have a well-established, consistent prayer life. We're having a revival right now at church...and I feel like I've been to Heaven tonight. The church was literally saturated with the spirit of God. I've been in Pentecost for a lot of years, and service like this usually happen at camp meetings or something phenomenal. The point I'm driving at here, however, is that I'm not standing there thinking "oh, my, I've got to start praying." I've BEEN praying. Granted, I still want to do more...but the pattern is there...and I honestly feel like the Lord is answering some of my (and other people's) prayers right now...and that feels so good.
I could go on, but it's the same with other things too...since testing the waters and diving in to being accountable to a mentoring brother, I'm starting to reap the fruits of greater self-discipline, better habits, and more responsibility. I know Steven must get exasperated with me sometimes...I myself get exasperated with me...and I'm SURE not perfect yet. I regularly have to admit to areas where I'm not measuring up. But the point is, we're getting there. We're making progress. And BOY that feels good!

Troy

Domino Effect

2005-05-19T12:43:00.000-05:00

Well, Steve...I hate to admit it...but it looks like we may have to re-instate accountability for getting adequate sleep. I admit I haven't been very responsible in that area lately. At any rate, it caught up to me the other night, and I think this is a good time to explore the "domino effect" of having one things out of kilter that causes other areas to sort of "crash".
I find that I have my best weeks and get the most accomplished when there is some consistent (there's that word again), routine regularity. When I get up at roughly the same time, take my medicine at the same time each day, am on track with my diet, get my vitamins at a particular time, and get adequate sleep (which for me isn't really too much...I really don't need eight hours a night), I find that I have even energy levels, feel good, can think clearly, and EVERYTHING else just tends to work. Well, I screwed that up recently...been off my diet, been getting to sleep way too late, and been "out of rhythm" for when I normally accomplish things. That makes it so when I DO have time to do things, I don't feel like doing them, can't think clearly, and can't predict when I'm going to have energy and when I'm going to be crashing.
A couple of days ago, I crashed. Thank God I've got a "cut day" planned into my schedule, because the other night, when I got home from work, I was edgy and couldn't relax, yet I was tired...SO tired...and couldn't concentrate well either. I decided to explore why...and that's when I realized that this whole thing started when I stayed up VERY late on a work night (not just talking to my AP, either) a couple of nights in a row. That, coupled with having my diet and other aspects of my routine all scrambled around made me feel cruddy and all out of sorts.
I went to bed a little early last night. Needless to say, I feel better already. I'll get back on my diet at supper time tonight, and get my vitamins and all back on a normal schedule....I can't stand too much more of this footloose and fancy-free stuff (A.K.A. irresponsible living habits).

Troy

The Painful Side Of Accountability

2005-05-16T18:40:00.000-05:00

I don't know of anybody who gets involved with having a mentor or an accountabilty partner who isn't excited about it...or at least looking forward to the good things it has to offer. It seems that accountabilty partnerships go through an ackward stage at first...both partners are trying to feel each other out, both wondering how far to go, and neither one wanting to offend the other too badly. It's okay to take things slowly, to build trust, and to develop a real caring investment in your brother's success--that's all a part of building the relationship--but the real "nitty-gritty" stage, the part of the relationship that actually does the most good is what comes once that initial foundation is laid and you start to know each other's personalities, weaknesses, and quirks. Once you're comfortable enough with each other to ask the hard questions, and to be a little tougher about things, things get serious. It's a little embarrassing to have to admit that you haven't done what you committed to doing, that you've failed to follow through on your assignments, or that you've made the same old mistake...again. It's HARD to have to be honest and tell your mentoring brother about your mess-ups and indiscretions when you know you're going to be reproved, rebuked, corrected, and instructed in righteousness...and that's the way it should be. Whether it's comfortable or not, it's purifying, edifying, and beneficial.
Since being involved in my accountability partnership with Steve, I've got more consistency in my devotional life and being more consistently responsible on my job, and am taking better care of my personal life than EVER before...and that feels good. I'm actually becoming the responsible, in-control man that I always wanted to become--and that really does make it worth it. I sometimes feel sorry for Steve...he HAS to have a lot of patience to work with me. I teasingly tell him he's the "goody two-shoes" that "mamma always loved best"...because it seems like I've always overlooked something...--but the fact remains that it's worth it...we're getting there...and I'd recommend this to ANYone.

Down to the wire

2005-05-13T00:25:00.000-05:00

They always told me as a kid that I should respect age because years of experience amounted to added wisdom. Funny thing is, the older I get, the more I realize how much I am still learning. This past school year has been one eye-opener of a year...about human beings and how they function, about group politics and dynamics...and about recognizing when it's time for fight and when it's time for flight.
At the school where I have worked this past year, there is a major philosophical debate about the correct way to teach foreign languages. Some of the teachers latched fanatically onto a natural or "communicative" approach--and their opinion is that anyone who doesn't do it there way is simply wrong. THEY know how best to teach a language, THEY know better than you, and if you don't listen to them, then you're hurting the program and hurting the kids. The problem is, in the final analysis, their program doesn't work.
I had kids in their fourth year of study whose Spanish was so lousy that they couldn't fluently talk in the present tesne. They'd slap any old ending on their verbs, were clueless about grammatical concepts...it was truly pathetic. So where do politics come it? Well, the people who promote all this just happen to be the most influential people in the department. Somehow they've won the ear of the people who real are in the driver's seat (the assistant principal--who can't speak Spanish, for example)...and while they're busy congratulating themselves on what a wonderful program they have, the entire rest of the district loses more and more respect for them...but what do you do?
I have looked this whole situation over and decided that the best avenue for me is to bow out gracefully and "fly". Their own foolishness will make itself manifest as soon as there are no other teachers to scapegoat out...and I just don't have it in me to start WW III with these people. I'm not sure what the summer may bring...we may be looking at a major move. SOME things I have really enjoyed this year...MAN, they've got a good school! They really do run it well, and I will miss a lot of things about it. But I won't miss being railroaded and run over by people who don't know what they're doing and think they're gurus.

Troy

Just do it....Get it done....NOW!

2005-05-09T15:50:00.000-05:00

I've changed my strategy about a few things. It used to be, when I had something to do, I'd put it off until I HAD to do it. That creates rushing, broken commitments, stress, and failure. So I'm changing a few things. I used to take my medicine last thing at night...now I take it first thing in the morning...while my water is still on my night stand and the pills are right there....before I get dressed (one of my medicines is a gel I have to rub in). I find that if I keep my planner there, I can just grab it and use it right away...what am I doing? I'm getting these things DONE! as in, off the list...finished worrying about them...no chance of failure.
Procrastination...putting things off...has been a major obstacle for me my whole life. Any more, I'm just trying to get things crossed off the proverbial "to do" list. The principle is simple...at any given point during the day, the fewer things I still have to do, the less chance I'm going to overlook something, run out of time, or have something else get in the way.
You'd think I would have learned some of these things well before being in my forties...but oh, well---I'm not old yet, and it's exciting to make positive changes.

Troy

What We're Doing Right....

2005-05-09T15:23:00.000-05:00

You know, I'm glad I'm doing this...glad for my experiences Saturday (see post on Insanity), and glad for the chance to look back over the direction I'm going in and reflect on some things. In my last post, I talked about how if we want to be successful, then we need to do what successful people do...then I applied that to other things we want to be...responsible, adult-likes, saints of God...even just "normal". So let me look for a moment at what I'm doing:

My accountability partner is having me keep a planner. It may seem like a small step, but it's not. Since time-management: remembering commitments, and keeping track of dates/times is not one of my strong suits, this is a VERY positive, good thing. I've never been consistent with this before...so this is a first. Normal, responsible adults keep track of time and keep track of their commitments...so I guess it's about time.

First absolutely first time , I'm being CONSISTENT in my prayer and Bible reading, consistent in taking my medicine, and consistent in tending to my other responsibilities. It's these "little things"...the daily steps...that make the big picture. I'm finding that I can choose to be responsible in these small things, and that adds up to being a responsible person.

It is SO HARD to change habits...but "getting there" in life has a lot to do with choosing to practice successful daily habits. Words like "daily" and "consistent" have always had almost an ominous "out of my league" ring to them...but I'm finding that this has a whole lot more to do with going on feelings (what I may feel like at the time) and an immature tendency to let life happen instead of taking charge than I ever wanted to admit to myself. Even things like getting to work on time, getting my Sunday school lesson ready in advance...all these are areas that represent choices, forethought and a little planning, and practicing responsible habits.

SO what's all this means? It means that not only should we keep doing what we're doing, but that I need to add even more areas to my list. I need to be discussing this with my accountability partner...and exploring other areas of my life that need the help of better choices and habits. Frankly, I could get used to this business of feeling in control and on top of things.

Definition of Insanity...And Other Intense Insights

2005-05-09T14:43:00.000-05:00

I always look forward to sleeping in on Saturday mornings. Call it laziness...whatever...I never will be an early morning person. That's "Bullet Point Number One"--something I need to say to preface what's coming. Bullet Point Number Two is this: I am NOT a neat-nic...our house gets messy (sometimes annoyingly messy), so I'd be the last person to get too critical or snooty about someone else having junk lying around. My parents were neat-freaks (sorry if that seems disrespectful, but I remember when Mom had TWO cleaning ladies coming in to take care of the house on opposite days...I.E. one on Monday, one on Tuesday...to keep the house practically looking like a museum). While I greatly enjoy clean, uncluttered spaces, in my family, we're just not super-well organized.
At any rate, Saturday morning, much to my chagrin, I heard our dog "going nuts" because someone had come over early and was knocking insistently at the door. I got dressed and went to answer it. It was someone we knew...she was quite agitated...and said she needed to speak to my wife--that it was an emergency. So I invited her in, got Franci up, and we found out that she was having some heart trouble. Her heart was racing, she was having some pain and pressure, and there was obviously a problem. My wife took her to the emergency room at the hospital, and my daughter and I had to get a hold of her husband and let him know what was going on.
First, I called...but no one answered the phone...apparently, they had it unplugged.
Second, we went over there and knocked--both on the front door and the back door...no one would come to the door.
Third, I OPENED THE DOOR and hollered for the husband...no one answered---two of their kids (LITTLE kids) were laying on the couch rigth inside the door. They pretended to be asleep, and even tried to keep up the pretense after I shook them to wake them up (like they'd been trained to ignore people at the door when their parents were sleeping). If I had been the Avon lady or the Mormons, I could understand ignoring the door. But here I was knocking, yelling "it's an emergency", and OBVIOUSLY having an urgent need to talk to somebody...and they were going to ignore me???
Fourth: I got the little boy awake (the girl still was laying on her stomache acting like she was asleep...or perhaps she really WAS--perhaps she collapsed from exhaustion on the couch and was "dead to the world")...the little boy went to get his dad, then came back and informed me that his dad wasn't getting up. I stood there like and idiot...finally, I went in and knocked on the bedroom door...still no response. "It's an emergency" didn't work, so I finally announced "your wife is in the hospital". FINALLY, that got him. While he lay in bed, I had to go in and explain what was going on.
Fifth: We had to take their vehicle, since my wife went in our car. There were dirty pans on the floor of the vehicle, and they stank with something rotten...the smell was overpowering. When we pulled up at their house, there was trash and junk strewn all over the place--it looked like a dump.
Sixth: The house was a complete wreck...nearly all the furniture was broken, the carpet was filthy, there was a mountain of dirty clothes in back...they don't even HAVE a kitchen table to eat at. By the kitchen sink (amidst the dirty dishes) was a big bottle of roach spray--RIGHT BY the kitchen sink.
Seven: They have four beautiful little kids living in this squalor--no body had cleaned them up, changed them into their "jammies" and put them to bed the night before. Apparently, at least two of them never did go to bed until they just dropped some place. (The man said he got to bed at 5:30 in the morning...so go figure.) The oldest girl is rail thin...I wonder what and how often she eats. It took awhile to even find clothes (socks, shoes) to get them all dressed so we could leave.
Eight: Even though my wife was getting sick and felt awful (she caught my virus or something), we took all the kids to the house, bathed them, changed them, and fed the entire family...it was the least we could do.
NOW FOR THE "KICKER": THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY! NOTHING!!! The husband brings home VERY good pay-checks. In fact, he makes more money than most people I know. So while this may have to do with poverty-mentality, this isn't a problem of not being able to do any better.
These people are out of control. They're whole life is lived based on what they feel like at the moment...and it's pathetic. I looked at all this, learned a few things, and got scared...it definitely taught me a lesson. You've heard before "if you want to be successful, then do what successful people do." Well, I'm finding that this same principle applies to many things in life...if you want to be normal, then do what normal people do: go to bed at a decent hour, pick up after yourself, and take care of things. If you want to be a responsible person, then do what responsible people do: manage your time and money with your HEAD, not with how you feel at the moment, keep your word, and keep track of your things. If you want to be a saint, then do what saints do: take time to pray every day, study God's word, be consistent with things like fasting, paying tithes, giving offerings, and being in church, be careful how you act and talk (your witness), and do the Lord's work. If you want to be an adult, then do what adults do: do what needs to be done when it needs to be done, take charge of your life, and delay gratification for the greater good down the road. CHILDREN live for the moment, doing what feels good at the time, and basing their decisions on what they "want to" or "don't want to" do at the time. Overgrown children do this, too...and they keep doing it over and over and over again---going from jam to jam and from mess to mess...screwing up their finances, their jobs, their prospects, their relationships...and always wondering why their depressed and why things never seem to work out for them. Well, someone once said that insanity can be defined as doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result every time. Perhaps the opposite of this kind of insanity can be defined, also...it's called growing up!

Insite Into Unruliness

2005-04-25T20:11:00.000-05:00

Wow. I just had an instructive experience that gave me some real insite into something I've never seen before. I'm starting to think that what passes for disorganization, forgetfulness, or simply being a person who never seems to be able to keep track of his life may just have an attitude of rebellion at its roots.
The state of Oklahoma requires schools to test it's students every year with what are called "End of Instruction" tests. The tests are a major pain in the rear, requiring us to completely revamp our schedules and plan out big blocks of time for testing to occur with certain kids while the other kids who are not being tested go to class in a "business-as-normal" fashion (yeah, right). But I'm not writing with regard to those tests. What I AM writing about is something I saw DURING those tests.
I was assigned to administer a writing exam. The kids were informed well in advance of changes to their schedules, and they should have known where they were supposed to be, and when. We only have certain amounts of time for this test, and the instructions from the state are so rigid that they practically tell you when to breath. So at any rate, there were a handful of kids who came in late...some VERY late. What I noticed was that these tended to be the same kids who didn't bring any pencils (to a writing test...go figure). Strangely enough, they were also the kids who couldn't seem to obey simple rules...such as no eating or drinking during the exam, or no talking. One of the girls waited till AFTER THE STUPID TEST STARTED to say she needed a tissue...and on and on it goes. I saw a definite co-relation between not being able to get it together to take a simple test without major problems and an unruly spirit. There seems to be a "nobody's going to tell me what to do" attitude behind a lot of this apparent failure to manage one's life...and it made me stop and think about myself.
I don't consider myself an overtly aggressive, openly rebellious person...but I need not kid myself. Due to some factors in my up-bringing, I know good and well that I have it in me as part of my carnal nature to covertly sabotage the plans of people that I find overbearing or "bossy". I haven't always recognized it in myself, but I can see that tendancy to passively push back against restrictions or constraints....things like always expecting there to be an exception to the rules, always having some reason why things can't just go as planned...that sort of thing.
Well, now I'm looking at that in relationship to my commitments...and it has made me really stop and think. Could it be that there is more to failure to keep commitments and failure to do what one has said he'd do that what meets the eye? Is it possible what underlies a lot of this "I just didn't get to it" or "I got too busy" is a resentment against rules, guidelines, standards...or ANY constraints? I'm really starting to question this. I'll be talking to my accountability partner about this and trying to assess it further, but I think...at least for me...I'm on to something here.

Troy

upset with ME??????

2005-04-15T18:10:00.000-05:00

If I ever decide to pursue a graduate degree in thought processing, I may have to look into this insane, peculiar habit I have. I have never understood this or even realized it was there before, but it's been there all my life. I KNOW it was there in high school, and I'm sure it was there earlier than that. I'm talking about the lag time between deciding that I need to do something and actually putting it into action. It's almost like having undeveloped rolls of film laying around...I may not even know what's on them, but as long as the pictures were taken, then I know they're there...sort of.
And thus it is with planning my commitments. I am finding out that I can have the best laid, most well-thought-through plans...but then it's like I just put them on the back burner for a day or two...out of sight, out of mind...and irresponsibly forge ahead without thinking about them, thus crashing deadlines and creating stress. I'm learning...slowly but surely. But beyond this, there is a moral lesson here, and that's the hardest pill to swallow. I want to be known as a reliable person who can be counted upon to do his best to bring his word to pass. That requires taking things more seriously than that.
Steven was upset with me yesterday. I had slipped up on some assignments that needed to go back. I wasn't thinking of it as any big deal. It was an oversight. But then Steven told me how disappointed and upset he was that the situation had occurred...and he let me know that he's not going to put up with that--that he's not going to be lenient about me not meeting my grading deadlines, and that he expects me to do whatever I need to do to be sure that these "slip-ups" don't occur.
Frankly, I 'm glad he's riding me about it. I probably just wasn't being careful enough about safe-guarding the "sacredness" (if I can use that word) of my commitments. Afterall, I said I'd do this...it's not like someone imposed in on me. Again, it's that lag-time thing...if I committed to doing this, then I needed to get right on the organization necessary to make it happen. DON'T GET ME WRONG: I do not enjoy the added pressure...I only recognize that it needs to be there.
But an even greater issue came out of this...and I realize that it's kind of odd: for Steve, this wasn't a routine thing. He was honestly upset with me that I had screwed up. And while I sure don't want him mad at me, still, I have to admit that it felt oddly...well, kinda nice. I don't mean that I was happy that I had upset him, but I was honestly flattered that he was interested enough in my success as a person that he took the whole thing so seriously. I'm not used to that.
Even today, he's been chiding with me about how I'm supposed to be his elder brother, mentor, and role model, and how it bothers him that he has to check up on me to see to it that I'm "behaving myself". He's my brother and my accountability partner...he has the right to chew me out...so that's okay. But he's about the only one I'd take that kind of reprimand of off and not really get offended. WHY? because I honestly think he cares. If he didn't, he wouldn't have got upset in the first place.
I'm an only child...having grown up without brothers or sisters. Furthermore, I was not close to my parents. I have an uncommonly good marriage (thank you Jesus) and a wonderful daughter, but my mom died when I was young and my dad and I weren't close. I have a lot of baggage to dig through from the past, but for probably about the first time in my life, I'm finding out what it feels like to be held to certain expectations, not for someone else's power trip or to avoid someone's inconvenience, but just out of genuine, caring concern for me and my personal success. I have never really known what is was to have someone put pressure on me to act in my own best interest and refuse to tolerate self-destructive excuse mongering just out of concern for me. So I just want to say thank you, Steven...it means a lot. I appreciate you.

Friday Before Spring Break

2005-03-11T11:23:00.000-06:00

I feel good today. As a matter of fact, I don't remember the last time I have felt this good about my commitments to establishing daily routines--I feel like I'm on a roll...like I'm really doing this. I'm "pumped", and I'm anxious to go to the next step and start adding other goals and commitments. I know that Steven, my accountability partner, will be helping me take it slow and be realistic, but I'm still already looking ahead and planning for greater things.
Yesterday, we took a group of Hispanic kids to a program that the Hispanic employees of SBC puts on to encourage the kids to go to college. Things that kept coming up were the importance of goal setting, keeping a planner, delayed gratification, planning ahead...all things that Steven and I have discussed. It was cool to hear someone else confirm these things. I'm looking forward to Spring Break and getting a lot of things accomplished around home.

My report for Steven:
1. got my prayer and Bible reading in, plus quite a bit extra
2. got to work on time this morning
3. got to bed last night...not only on time.
4. did my repetetive reading of Psalm one
5. did my grading yesterday
6. wrote in my journal and made my daily report as promised both yesterday and today.

There you go, Little Brother...another successful day. I believe that the weekend is going to be especially challenging. I'm taking some extra precautions--we'll talk about that later. Happy Birthday, by the way!

On a Roll....

2005-03-10T09:58:00.000-06:00

I could get used to this. I know it sounds like I'm strumming the same chord, but the old adage about "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail" really does seem to be the key to the whole thing. Otherwise, you're simply letting life happen to you. Seeing what you have to do, starting early, and planning around time blocks that are already filled is the essence of good time management and the way to positively get things done without excuses.
I'm not silly---I know that unexpected things come up that simply can't be circumnavigated. But I'm feeling so good about the last few days---sort of a "eureka" feeling of having found an empowering truth. At any rate, here's my report for my buddy Steven:

I prayed yesterday, got my Bible reading in, did my grading, got my repetetive scripture reading in, and wrote in my journal----and even had a enough time to harass you by Instant Messenger a little bit. I got to bed On Time and got to work On Time. So I'm feeling pretty good. Church was great last night...had a guest speaker. And the most important thing about this is, even though we had church last night and our schedule was strained, through just a little bit of pre-planning and thought, I still complied with my commitments. So it's working!

Troy

Finally See The Light...

2005-03-09T14:41:00.000-06:00

Some things that come naturally to organized people just don't come naturally to me, but if I try long enough, I eventually seem to get it. :-) I've always been disorganized when it comes to time, money, and things...much to my parents' chagrin. I can tell what needs to be done, but I have a hard time staying on track to get there.
I wrote an essay for my accountability partner on keeping commitments. It was the best sort of exercise I could have done, because it really made me think...if I have things to do, then making up my mind to do them is not enough: I have to make PROVISION to to them...start early enough, and plan for unexpected obstacles. That's called responsibly planning (as opposed to letting life happen), and this is a new concept for me.
I've finally figured out that if I wait and don't think through what I have to do and predict how long it will take, then it won't get done. Today is a church day...since I already know I won't be home tonight for a large chunk of the evening, then some of my commitments must be taken care of early. With that in mind, I took my Bible and read my chapters for the day while my wife drove me to work (she needed the car today). I'll get my grading done here at school. My other commitments will have to be planned around what time is available.
My new motto is "results, not excuses".

Report for Steve:
Got my prayer and Bible reading in both yesterday AND the day before (week's starting off great), did my repetetive reading of Psalms One, and got to work on time today. Also, I did my grading yesterday.
Because of yesterday, I have been late to work twice--but things are looking up, Buddy.

On My Way

2005-03-09T00:41:00.000-06:00

Well, today's going pretty good. I WAS late for work , but I'm starting to see a real pattern to the problems underlying the habits I'm trying to change. I never leave myself enough time, so my good intentions are scuttled on the altar of things that "come up". Well...this is a new week...

Report for Steve:

Prayed yesterday and today...did get my Bible reading in yesterday (Monday) and going to do it right now, today.

Got my grading in, too, for Tuesday.

Gotta run...got things to do before lights out.

The Past Week

2005-03-07T17:52:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm a lot better today, which is a good thing. Service was terrific last night...an awesome presence of the Holy Ghost. My daughter prayed through and was talking in tongues for like forty minutes (TYJ), but my wife ended up going home sick. She must have caught what I had. Fortunately, she was better this morning.
Last Friday, I was so sick that my classes basically had a free day. I gave them some Easter vocabulary and let them do a seek and find puzzle, then I let them play Scrabble in Spanish for the rest of the hour. They're probably looking forward to the next time I get sick...hahaha.
Every week, I make commitments for the week with my accountability partner. I did a terrible job with my commitments this past week. Tonight's my night to talk to my accountability partner, and I've sort of been dreading it, because I figured he was going to hammer my butt. At any rate, when I got home from church last night, he had messaged me saying (very apologetically) that he'd had a lot of trouble with his own commitments for the week. So I guess we're in the same boat. At any rate, here's my week in review:
What was supposed to happen:

devotions six days (prayer and Bible study)
Sunday school lesson done early (not at last minute)
begin next week's Sunday school lesson on Sunday
be to work on time everyday
be to bed on time Sunday through Thursday
start keeping a journal in order to accurately report
do forty-five minutes of grading a day on five days
write an essay on the importance of commitments by Thur.

What happened:

I got started this blog spot...but didn't do it till Sunday (Sorry, Steven)
I did not get my Sunday school lesson ready ahead of time...but since I couldn't be to church Sunday anyway....ah, forget it...whether or not I got to church on Sunday, I didn't keep the commitment.
I missed getting to bed on time at least once
I was late for work on Friday...which wasn't really my fault in that my wife came home late (I have to be there early on Friday for faculty meeting)--but I really should have reminded her.
Don't EVEN ask about the grading (okay...he's going to ask)
I DID get my essay done and sent off...albeit late due to computer problems.
daily devotions...I missed one day, I know, and I don't remember missing again till Friday. So much for my commitment to keeping track of everything in a journal. (I promise I'll do better, Steve...)

TO MY DEFENSE: things really fell apart when I got sick on Friday...I'm not going to count Friday (I was sick in bed) and I at least have half an excuse for Saturday (I didn't feel too good then, either). But I was going to do extra devotions on Sunday to make up for a day I missed...and that didn't happen.

So as I was saying, I'm not going so good this week, and I'll probably get hammered tonight...but I guess that's my fault. Oh well, this is the last week before Spring break, so I guess there's something to look forward to (if I'm allowed to live that long, that is). :-)

New At This

2005-03-06T13:00:00.000-06:00

Well, here it goes. Today is Sunday, and I'm supposed to be at church. I got sick Friday and my wife got sick this morning (just some annoying virus, or so it seems), so I called for a ride for my daughter, tended to my wife, and created a web-blog. What a morning! At least I'm a jump ahead on my Sunday School lesson for next week.