Down to the wire

They always told me as a kid that I should respect age because years of experience amounted to added wisdom. Funny thing is, the older I get, the more I realize how much I am still learning. This past school year has been one eye-opener of a year...about human beings and how they function, about group politics and dynamics...and about recognizing when it's time for fight and when it's time for flight.
At the school where I have worked this past year, there is a major philosophical debate about the correct way to teach foreign languages. Some of the teachers latched fanatically onto a natural or "communicative" approach--and their opinion is that anyone who doesn't do it there way is simply wrong. THEY know how best to teach a language, THEY know better than you, and if you don't listen to them, then you're hurting the program and hurting the kids. The problem is, in the final analysis, their program doesn't work.
I had kids in their fourth year of study whose Spanish was so lousy that they couldn't fluently talk in the present tesne. They'd slap any old ending on their verbs, were clueless about grammatical concepts...it was truly pathetic. So where do politics come it? Well, the people who promote all this just happen to be the most influential people in the department. Somehow they've won the ear of the people who real are in the driver's seat (the assistant principal--who can't speak Spanish, for example)...and while they're busy congratulating themselves on what a wonderful program they have, the entire rest of the district loses more and more respect for them...but what do you do?
I have looked this whole situation over and decided that the best avenue for me is to bow out gracefully and "fly". Their own foolishness will make itself manifest as soon as there are no other teachers to scapegoat out...and I just don't have it in me to start WW III with these people. I'm not sure what the summer may bring...we may be looking at a major move. SOME things I have really enjoyed this year...MAN, they've got a good school! They really do run it well, and I will miss a lot of things about it. But I won't miss being railroaded and run over by people who don't know what they're doing and think they're gurus.

Troy

Just do it....Get it done....NOW!

I've changed my strategy about a few things. It used to be, when I had something to do, I'd put it off until I HAD to do it. That creates rushing, broken commitments, stress, and failure. So I'm changing a few things. I used to take my medicine last thing at night...now I take it first thing in the morning...while my water is still on my night stand and the pills are right there....before I get dressed (one of my medicines is a gel I have to rub in). I find that if I keep my planner there, I can just grab it and use it right away...what am I doing? I'm getting these things DONE! as in, off the list...finished worrying about them...no chance of failure.
Procrastination...putting things off...has been a major obstacle for me my whole life. Any more, I'm just trying to get things crossed off the proverbial "to do" list. The principle is simple...at any given point during the day, the fewer things I still have to do, the less chance I'm going to overlook something, run out of time, or have something else get in the way.
You'd think I would have learned some of these things well before being in my forties...but oh, well---I'm not old yet, and it's exciting to make positive changes.

Troy

What We're Doing Right....

You know, I'm glad I'm doing this...glad for my experiences Saturday (see post on Insanity), and glad for the chance to look back over the direction I'm going in and reflect on some things. In my last post, I talked about how if we want to be successful, then we need to do what successful people do...then I applied that to other things we want to be...responsible, adult-likes, saints of God...even just "normal". So let me look for a moment at what I'm doing:


My accountability partner is having me keep a planner. It may seem like a small step, but it's not. Since time-management: remembering commitments, and keeping track of dates/times is not one of my strong suits, this is a VERY positive, good thing. I've never been consistent with this before...so this is a first. Normal, responsible adults keep track of time and keep track of their commitments...so I guess it's about time.

First absolutely first time , I'm being CONSISTENT in my prayer and Bible reading, consistent in taking my medicine, and consistent in tending to my other responsibilities. It's these "little things"...the daily steps...that make the big picture. I'm finding that I can choose to be responsible in these small things, and that adds up to being a responsible person.

It is SO HARD to change habits...but "getting there" in life has a lot to do with choosing to practice successful daily habits. Words like "daily" and "consistent" have always had almost an ominous "out of my league" ring to them...but I'm finding that this has a whole lot more to do with going on feelings (what I may feel like at the time) and an immature tendency to let life happen instead of taking charge than I ever wanted to admit to myself. Even things like getting to work on time, getting my Sunday school lesson ready in advance...all these are areas that represent choices, forethought and a little planning, and practicing responsible habits.

SO what's all this means? It means that not only should we keep doing what we're doing, but that I need to add even more areas to my list. I need to be discussing this with my accountability partner...and exploring other areas of my life that need the help of better choices and habits. Frankly, I could get used to this business of feeling in control and on top of things.

Definition of Insanity...And Other Intense Insights

I always look forward to sleeping in on Saturday mornings. Call it laziness...whatever...I never will be an early morning person. That's "Bullet Point Number One"--something I need to say to preface what's coming. Bullet Point Number Two is this: I am NOT a neat-nic...our house gets messy (sometimes annoyingly messy), so I'd be the last person to get too critical or snooty about someone else having junk lying around. My parents were neat-freaks (sorry if that seems disrespectful, but I remember when Mom had TWO cleaning ladies coming in to take care of the house on opposite days...I.E. one on Monday, one on Tuesday...to keep the house practically looking like a museum). While I greatly enjoy clean, uncluttered spaces, in my family, we're just not super-well organized.
At any rate, Saturday morning, much to my chagrin, I heard our dog "going nuts" because someone had come over early and was knocking insistently at the door. I got dressed and went to answer it. It was someone we knew...she was quite agitated...and said she needed to speak to my wife--that it was an emergency. So I invited her in, got Franci up, and we found out that she was having some heart trouble. Her heart was racing, she was having some pain and pressure, and there was obviously a problem. My wife took her to the emergency room at the hospital, and my daughter and I had to get a hold of her husband and let him know what was going on.
First, I called...but no one answered the phone...apparently, they had it unplugged.
Second, we went over there and knocked--both on the front door and the back door...no one would come to the door.
Third, I OPENED THE DOOR and hollered for the husband...no one answered---two of their kids (LITTLE kids) were laying on the couch rigth inside the door. They pretended to be asleep, and even tried to keep up the pretense after I shook them to wake them up (like they'd been trained to ignore people at the door when their parents were sleeping). If I had been the Avon lady or the Mormons, I could understand ignoring the door. But here I was knocking, yelling "it's an emergency", and OBVIOUSLY having an urgent need to talk to somebody...and they were going to ignore me???
Fourth: I got the little boy awake (the girl still was laying on her stomache acting like she was asleep...or perhaps she really WAS--perhaps she collapsed from exhaustion on the couch and was "dead to the world")...the little boy went to get his dad, then came back and informed me that his dad wasn't getting up. I stood there like and idiot...finally, I went in and knocked on the bedroom door...still no response. "It's an emergency" didn't work, so I finally announced "your wife is in the hospital". FINALLY, that got him. While he lay in bed, I had to go in and explain what was going on.
Fifth: We had to take their vehicle, since my wife went in our car. There were dirty pans on the floor of the vehicle, and they stank with something rotten...the smell was overpowering. When we pulled up at their house, there was trash and junk strewn all over the place--it looked like a dump.
Sixth: The house was a complete wreck...nearly all the furniture was broken, the carpet was filthy, there was a mountain of dirty clothes in back...they don't even HAVE a kitchen table to eat at. By the kitchen sink (amidst the dirty dishes) was a big bottle of roach spray--RIGHT BY the kitchen sink.
Seven: They have four beautiful little kids living in this squalor--no body had cleaned them up, changed them into their "jammies" and put them to bed the night before. Apparently, at least two of them never did go to bed until they just dropped some place. (The man said he got to bed at 5:30 in the morning...so go figure.) The oldest girl is rail thin...I wonder what and how often she eats. It took awhile to even find clothes (socks, shoes) to get them all dressed so we could leave.
Eight: Even though my wife was getting sick and felt awful (she caught my virus or something), we took all the kids to the house, bathed them, changed them, and fed the entire family...it was the least we could do.
NOW FOR THE "KICKER": THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY! NOTHING!!! The husband brings home VERY good pay-checks. In fact, he makes more money than most people I know. So while this may have to do with poverty-mentality, this isn't a problem of not being able to do any better.
These people are out of control. They're whole life is lived based on what they feel like at the moment...and it's pathetic. I looked at all this, learned a few things, and got scared...it definitely taught me a lesson. You've heard before "if you want to be successful, then do what successful people do." Well, I'm finding that this same principle applies to many things in life...if you want to be normal, then do what normal people do: go to bed at a decent hour, pick up after yourself, and take care of things. If you want to be a responsible person, then do what responsible people do: manage your time and money with your HEAD, not with how you feel at the moment, keep your word, and keep track of your things. If you want to be a saint, then do what saints do: take time to pray every day, study God's word, be consistent with things like fasting, paying tithes, giving offerings, and being in church, be careful how you act and talk (your witness), and do the Lord's work. If you want to be an adult, then do what adults do: do what needs to be done when it needs to be done, take charge of your life, and delay gratification for the greater good down the road. CHILDREN live for the moment, doing what feels good at the time, and basing their decisions on what they "want to" or "don't want to" do at the time. Overgrown children do this, too...and they keep doing it over and over and over again---going from jam to jam and from mess to mess...screwing up their finances, their jobs, their prospects, their relationships...and always wondering why their depressed and why things never seem to work out for them. Well, someone once said that insanity can be defined as doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result every time. Perhaps the opposite of this kind of insanity can be defined, also...it's called growing up!